Anyone has any learning on trauma and happiness and the brain? I have this extreme problem that is killing me as we speak. In my waking life, I have 2 ways I can live, one is a complete depersonalized state, where I can't recall literally anything, not even what happened 2 minutes ago, and the other option is being aware, of myself, of reality and of my happiness. But the second option is accompanied by extremely traumatic thoughts, I just checked my blood pressure and it's 220 with 144, 130 beats per minute, it's usually 120 and 80 and 60 beats per min, I geniuely belive someone I bullied on discord will come and kill me, I am fucking drowning in fear and paranoia, but the worst thing is that I already talked him out of it, and even met the guy, but my brain still goes into we're gonna die mode because it woke a repressed thought pattern of pure fear I developed once because I saw some guy on youtube looking EXACTLY 100% like him and his angry face used to look on the discord live telling me he will kill me and I got scared as fuck. My heart is doing jumping jacks and I think I'm gonna die, how do I get rid of this stupid thought pattern imprinted in my head?