I hope this is technology related enough.
Could someone explain to me what Watts are?

I understand Volts - it's the pressure.
Ohms - is the resistance.

Divide pressure by resistance and you get Amps, the current.

I = V/R

But what are watts?
>It's V * I, duh.
But every single explanation evades a simple fact, that this is very counterintuitive.

Volts * Amps, is probably sounds reasonable before you realize that it's also:
Volts * Volts / Ohms
or
Amps * Amps * Ohms

Now this doesn't make any sense.

a current is Volts / Ohms
a watt is Volts * Volts / Ohms

Why the fuck would you multiply by volts again?
Given the popular way of describing electricity as pipes and waters, you don't multiply water pressure by water pressure if you are trying to achieve anything meaningful.