through my years of high school and first year of college, I have been constantly competing against my friend. I didn't need motivation and never questioned what I was doing as I had to always keep moving so I don't fall behind.
well, good things come to an end and my friend chose med school. I didn't want to become a doctor so I chose math and CS ( math because I am good at it and CS so I can find a job later ).
3 months into the new year and emptiness hit me so hard. At first, I tried to find a new opponent but now I really don't see the point of that anymore.
I don't know how to feel I think I am more fond of competing and scoring better than my friend than studying math itself