Sometimes scientific knowledge (or at least the grasp of it as I’m no scientist whatsoever) and awareness about the material nature of reality make me feel like art and love are worthless.

Both have always been a huge part of my life, something to cling onto as a strictly materialist and agnostic person. Yet sometimes, as much as i think that experiencing reality alone is absolutely amazing and makes life worth living, I feel so lost and out of touch with everything.

Take a painting for example (I’m very into fine arts and art history). Sometimes I can appreciate it, but other times I just see a bunch of synthetic chemicals on some organic fibers. Same goes for basically everything, sometimes all I think about is the law of physics that govern our universe and are behind every single thing I do as an individual and it just gets stuck in my mind in a loop that makes me feel both physically and psychologically unwell.