ITT post whatever variants of alternative scientific cosmological theories that you've developed. Don't gods and magic and gay stuff like that because god is not real. Also rocks are not real.

The current cosmology I favor which disputes the conventional wisdom is a Flat Earth variant that I call Shit Earth. If the Shit Earth theory is true then everything is of organic origin, everything eventually gets eaten and turns to shit in the Shit Earth universe. Geological formations are all created out of shit at high pressures through dimly understood processes before they rise through the layers of shit to the surface and since Shit Earth is a static universe, infinite time is available for all of this to unfold.