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What's wrong with cheating?

Anonymous Tue 19 Oct 09:46:29 2021 No.13767722 View Reply Original Report

Quoted By: >>13767726 >>13767767 >>13767790 >>13767792

First of all I'm monogamous and don't cheat, but I've been thinking about the psychology of it

Is there any inherent moral problem with cheating?

Everyone seems to agree unanimously that your own insecurity/jealousy is your own problem, not your partner's. As far as I know, cheating on your partner doesn't hurt them except by making them feel jealous or inadequate.

I know it's wrong to lie about it, or to break a promise, but is there anything inherently wrong with cheating itself?

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 19 Oct 2021 09:52:52 No.13767726 Report

Quoted By: >>13767754

>>13767722

Transmisable disease, break of trust. Transfer of resources away from the agreed arrangement, break of pair bond

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 19 Oct 2021 09:54:24 No.13767729 Report

Quoted By: >>13767757 >>13767839

Australian semi-Chad here. I'm too disillusioned to believe in monogamous relationships. The gorgeous wife of a boss I had some years back was cheating on him with me. It was completely shameless too. I'd call him every couple of days to give some numbers, and one of these days she was, like, "I want to deepthroat you while you're calling him." Yet to all outside appearances they had a perfect marriage.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 19 Oct 2021 10:08:44 No.13767754 Report

Quoted By: >>13767773 >>13767781

>>13767726

When I say inherent problems, I mean excluding these types of things.

>break of trust

This would only mean she expected you to stay monogamous. I'm asking for reasons other than that, because it's not "fair" for her to expect that just because of her insecurities in this hypothetical.

>Transmisable disease
>break of pair bond

Let's say you have protected sex with a virgin, and it doesn't affect your pair bonding

>Transfer of resources away from the agreed arrangement

not sure what this means

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 19 Oct 2021 10:14:12 No.13767757 Report

Quoted By: >>13767774

>>13767729

morality aside, I still think monogamy is the healthiest thing for us. There are all kinds of negatives associated with polyamory and promiscuity in general

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 19 Oct 2021 10:20:55 No.13767767 Report

Quoted By:

>>13767722
A man can't be sure that the kids he's raising are his.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 19 Oct 2021 10:26:41 No.13767773 Report

Quoted By:

>>13767754
>This would only mean she expected you to stay monogamous. I'm asking for reasons other than that, because it's not "fair" for her to expect that just because of her insecurities in this hypothetical.

So you are lying to your pair bond. You don't deserve a bond.

>>13767754
>>Transfer of resources away from the agreed arrangement

The bond requires resources which as the male you are evolved to provide, especially after reproduction.

~G

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 19 Oct 2021 10:28:50 No.13767774 Report

Quoted By: >>13767776

>>13767757
>morality aside, I still think monogamy is the healthiest thing for us. There are all kinds of negatives associated with polyamory and promiscuity in general

Agreed. We evolved a nearly equal number of males and females for a reason. Did not have to be that way. Male ants, for example, grossly outnumber females.

~G

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 19 Oct 2021 10:30:39 No.13767776 Report

Quoted By:

>>13767774
>Male ants, for example, grossly outnumber females.

Actually I had this backward. More females by 3x.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 19 Oct 2021 10:33:23 No.13767781 Report

Quoted By: >>13767784

>>13767754
>This would only mean she expected you to stay monogamous. I'm asking for reasons other than that, because it's not "fair" for her to expect that just because of her insecurities in this hypothetical.

Also, every guy has this fantasy. We want to fuck every hot girl. It just doesn't work. Look at say, Jason Durulo or Kanye West, they were both like "fuck this monogamy shit" and then a month later their ex is still all over their social feed. You are trying to apply human logic to something that was masterfully evolved. The pair bond the extremely difficult to break.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 19 Oct 2021 10:37:33 No.13767784 Report

Quoted By:

>>13767781
>The pair bond the extremely difficult to break.

The logic is there, it's just difficult to grok for the human mind; we are fundamentally computers. Computers require redundancy to function optimally. Same reason why a plane has two pilots. Furthermore, you are not even a complete organism: requirement for life is capability for reproduction, good luck doing that without a complete setvof reproductive organs.

G

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 19 Oct 2021 10:39:44 No.13767790 Report

Quoted By:

>>13767722
Biologically, a man would want to commit resources to raising only his own offspring. A woman would want a man to commit resources to raising offspring. The result of both these things is monogamous pair bonding.

The answer now is that children themselves don't understand. If you could insulate kids from it entirely and it was truly consensual then there'd be nothing wrong. But you can't and so harm is caused.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 19 Oct 2021 10:39:59 No.13767792 Report

Quoted By:

>>13767722
Cuckolding

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 19 Oct 2021 10:39:59 No.13767793 Report

Quoted By:

One of the foundational pillars of civilisation is monogamy. If you don't allow the majority of males to have the opportunity to mate and reproduce, the civilisation will never develop. Cheating undermines that foundation.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 19 Oct 2021 11:06:39 No.13767839 Report

Quoted By:

>>13767729
>"I want to deepthroat you while you're calling him.

Well, did she? Do tell

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 19 Oct 2021 11:23:19 No.13767866 Report

Quoted By:

Inflicting emotional pain on someone is near equivalent as inflicting physical pain on someone. That insecurities and jealousy exist in the first place implies that there is a biogical reason for it. To think they are vestigial is complete nonsense.

Yes, some sense of mental control over body processes is possible, but it is nowhere near complete. If you think you are "above" jealousy or insecurity you are mistaken. That's somewhat breaking into narcissism even to think you are so beyond normal human emotions.

If you want to "cheat", be open and honest about it so that it won't be cheating. Being a secretive cunt serves no one. You are breaking someone's trust, which bleeds into every aspect of animal existence. Someone who can not trust is a severely broken organism at an extremely fundamental level.

Open relationships and polygamy are another issue, and I am open to you doing whatever you want so long as you are open and honest about it.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 19 Oct 2021 12:36:29 No.13767978 Report

Quoted By:

In mating systems that allow for "cheating" (mating with many different partners) males do not know which child is theirs, so they are inherently interested in NOT giving any form of paternal investment into any offspring.
Thus females are left to raise offspring alone.
Same for polygamous mating strategies where one male dominates a harem. Males have to put so much energy into getting big and fighting that they do not put any energy into raising offspring. In fact it is beneficial for the male to kill offspring in order to mate with the mother and make sure that his own genes are spread.

Reminder that in the modern world ONLY monogamous relationships based on female-biased sexual size dimorphism and large amounts of paternal investment into offspring are morally valid.

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