>>13759293emulation. look at how other people act in certain circumstances and try to emulate their reactions and incorporate them into your life. i started this at an early age and i think its the only reason that im operable. it takes discipline and alot of practice and failure. it may lead to awkward conversations and stuff as you practice. I 100% had bad ADHD growing up but as ive gotten older ive incorporated things that i like from other people into my own behavior and its made it so i can focus and behave how i want in social situations. ive become alot more charismatic over the years and mostly base my behavior off of what i have learned to be the behavior of the type of person that i want to be. your outer self can kind of be a façade that you craft. in terms of personal work, find something you love to do and use the skills that you get from crafting your social self to create the person that is focused, persistent, and dedicated.
you are who you want to be and who you force yourself to be. if you want to be focused, you are. its not a matter of rewarding yourself to trick yourself into being that. its a matter of "its what I am now". and with that if you are able to be focused and make progress in that thing that you love, that is as much of a reward as you will ever need. Humans are beings of purpose and if you find that purpose in your life then you will have something more valuable than any amount of money you could get doing something you hate. purpose leads to passion and passion leads to happiness.
I hope this can help in some way. i believe in you and i know you can get through what your are struggling with. i can imagine that doing what i did at an older age would be alot harder but just know that, again, you are what you are, and what you are is what you want to be.
