>be high IQ (tested) (adult)
>no internal monologue unless I literally talk to myself since my head feels pretty much empty most of the time, except there's always some music playing like a jukebox
>need external stimuli (like playing chess) to actually start thinking, but without even more outside pressure (like very little time left, nearing deadline, etc.) I barely even get going, do nothing but vaguely worry about it mostly
>not even sure how I manage to write essays and shit, as I write *before* verbalizing/visualizing/anticipating ideas
>lethargic and slow as fuck, lost in thought, melancholy except I don't really think, just space out
>feel absolutely retarded, only have IQ/"accomplishments" and reassuring friends to cope
>uppers like vyvanse, ritalin, etc. didn't "unlock" anything, just made me restless
>weed doesn't affect me much
>low dose of psilocybin removed my "filter" and inhibition somewhat but ultimately didn't change much
Is it just autism or something else?
>no internal monologue unless I literally talk to myself since my head feels pretty much empty most of the time, except there's always some music playing like a jukebox
>need external stimuli (like playing chess) to actually start thinking, but without even more outside pressure (like very little time left, nearing deadline, etc.) I barely even get going, do nothing but vaguely worry about it mostly
>not even sure how I manage to write essays and shit, as I write *before* verbalizing/visualizing/anticipating ideas
>lethargic and slow as fuck, lost in thought, melancholy except I don't really think, just space out
>feel absolutely retarded, only have IQ/"accomplishments" and reassuring friends to cope
>uppers like vyvanse, ritalin, etc. didn't "unlock" anything, just made me restless
>weed doesn't affect me much
>low dose of psilocybin removed my "filter" and inhibition somewhat but ultimately didn't change much
Is it just autism or something else?
