why does anything exit at all? If the universe was made of particles, that eventually came together, formed new particles and etc., why do the particles exist? Why does the space in which the particles exist exist? What is the space? How can something be Infinitely big?

none of this shit makes sense, why am i here, i didn't ask for it, i just am, i exist, i will exist, i will die, and for what? what's my purpose? the cycle will go on an on and at the end of the day, it's all for nothing, what goal are we achieving? Our solar system will eventually die, if we escape that, the universe will die off as well, eventually, so what's the point of all of this?

and the more you think about it, the less sense all of it makes, gravity, light, time, mass, none of it really makes sense if you think about it, genuinely think about it

you know you're just a bunch of cells that became self aware? self aware, what does that even mean? a conscience? what is a conscience? what are thoughts? your brain is almost as complex as the universe, we know as much about it as the universe itself, imagine this , a computer program that can simultaneously in real time capture and seamlessly merge 2 different videos from 2 cameras. That's what your brain is doing as you're reading this, all the while filtering out your nose, which you just saw, and any other obstructions in the view, it's unimaginable, such technology today, the concept of thought is even more insane, a computer program that can replicate the human thought process? insane