I’m a self described animal lover. Even before kindergarten, I had always held a special place in my heart for animals, and I would always try my best to care or help one whenever I could.

Primates in particular are some of my favorite animals, from the adorably curious orangutans to the playful agile gibbon, to the watchful and adorably small slow loris. However, despite my love for these animals, ESPECIALLY their babies, whenever I see a macaque, specifically the Rhesus Macaque, I feel an unnatural anger and pleasure from seeing them being scared or hurt.

I’m genuinely scared of my current fascination with macaques. I don’t have this hatred for any other monkeys. Langurs seem annoying but never bring up any anger like these macaques do.

Another thing that I feel is a repulsiveness to their body language. Whenever a macaque makes an O-face, which is a classic sign of anger and frustration, I feel a desire to punch one. And whenever their babies squeal and spasm, I want to throw them

Is this purely a reflection of my character? Or do others feel the same? I’ve heard some theorize that the uncanny valley may be a contributing factor, but I’ve never felt anger from anything else uncanny. Has anyone done any research on people who hate monkeys?

Also, anyone have any good recommendations on macaque channels? I’m trying to watch videos that show macaques in a positive light so I can rewire my brain to be disgusted in their suffering