I just had to cram like 2 to 4 weeks of freshman/sophomore electrostatics because I'm a terrible online student who gets an intense negative Pavlovian effect from accessing online material for a purely online class.

Also have some other bullshit I learned about too late and don't wanna get into. More demands from the uni I'd transfer to than I thought. The possibility that I won't be able to keep going to community college as long as I thought. Its just tiring.

All I wanted to do was get into STEM. I don't even care about money or anything. I just have to do this, otherwise I end up a drugged out wrist slitter or something because there's basically nothing more important to me than science/engineering. I need it the way artists need music and its so fucking garbage that I wasn't born rich or black lesbian female or something.

I don't need advice just sympathize with me in a generic way or something. Specifically with how fucking tired I am.

When is this pandemic shit going to be over? Fuck. At LEAST let me mope around about how poorly I was advised and how cowardly I was in my study plans and how old I am now for a college student on-campus in my special study and mop spot for fuck's sake.


I wonder how blacker the abyss will get with uni.