So I have this feeling based on the concept of "be the change you want to see" and whatever of starting a career in STEM. Probably a certain science or engineering branch. (You know how useful and imperative they are to make the living experience better. Also to get our shit together and fix everything we fuck up; plus knowledge of reality and all the good stuff)
The tiny little detail getting in the way is that I find the whole working process to get any new results, discoveries, applications...the closest thing to hell on earth for me. At least as an outsider.
Take out the fact you may never work in something you like, make an actual discovery but just cross out possibilities building a road for them to happen (whichisgood), die in the process, the importance of every tiny job for everything to work well so you may as well be a good plumber rather than a mediocre programmer to better everyone's life, you should probably do what you want instead, money; all that shite.
If you cut the end goal of the process; it's close to the furthest to what I would consider: a life I would enjoy living, a good use of my areas of natural talent, a career that doesn't hit my weak points, etc.
Yet I feel I should just go martyr; get in on it; probably die at 40 by aneurysm while trying; just let my soul rot away and get drained together with my libido, as the trained monkey repetition turns me into a zombie. A probably underperforming one taking into account the hours I would have to put in research and the like not to feel I'm not only wasting my life but it not making a significant dent to be worth that fact.
Or maybe I enjoy it, right? Why not? I haven't studied nor worked in STEM for 20 years so I haven't had the realization "wow, I really enjoy buying Frappuccino's to nuclear engineers. This is it guys. Fucking Eureka"
Seems like it would be a retarded choice.
So why think like that?
>I don't fucking trust people at all.
(continues and I finally get it out)
The tiny little detail getting in the way is that I find the whole working process to get any new results, discoveries, applications...the closest thing to hell on earth for me. At least as an outsider.
Take out the fact you may never work in something you like, make an actual discovery but just cross out possibilities building a road for them to happen (whichisgood), die in the process, the importance of every tiny job for everything to work well so you may as well be a good plumber rather than a mediocre programmer to better everyone's life, you should probably do what you want instead, money; all that shite.
If you cut the end goal of the process; it's close to the furthest to what I would consider: a life I would enjoy living, a good use of my areas of natural talent, a career that doesn't hit my weak points, etc.
Yet I feel I should just go martyr; get in on it; probably die at 40 by aneurysm while trying; just let my soul rot away and get drained together with my libido, as the trained monkey repetition turns me into a zombie. A probably underperforming one taking into account the hours I would have to put in research and the like not to feel I'm not only wasting my life but it not making a significant dent to be worth that fact.
Or maybe I enjoy it, right? Why not? I haven't studied nor worked in STEM for 20 years so I haven't had the realization "wow, I really enjoy buying Frappuccino's to nuclear engineers. This is it guys. Fucking Eureka"
Seems like it would be a retarded choice.
So why think like that?
>I don't fucking trust people at all.
(continues and I finally get it out)
