I have incredibly bad insomnia; to the point that every waking moment of my life is miserable and I consider killing myself on almost a daily basis. I have tried almost every over the counter medication and numerous prescription medications none of them did jack shit to help me sleep. I do all the sleep hygeine stuff avoiding my bed until I absolutely need to sleep and shit like that. I really dont think I have the willpower to continue going on like this watching as my mental state slowly decays and having to violently assault my body with chemicals and physical force in order to get a single ounce of productivity out of it.
My question to you anons, do any of you know how I can administer medical grade anesthesia to myself at home? I am tech savvy, so Im sure I could jerry rig some kind of monitoring rig with raspberry pis n whatnot. Im just not sure where/if I could get the anesthetics, or how to properly administer them; I mean I know it's an IV drip but beyond that I am lost. Spare me your comments about the side effects or the dangers of this plan I have heard them all before; I will be pursuing this as If I dont find something to force myself to sleep Im confident I will kill myself eventally, so Im willing to bear any potential side effects or dangers. Any help/tips would be greatly appreciated.