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The Landwhale

No.45474381 ViewReplyOriginalReport
GATHER 'ROUND, FA/TG/UYS! IT'S TIME FOR A TALE OF DICE, WHALES AND THAT GUYS! Ready yer britches and get some cookies, it's STORYTIME! This takes place in a gameshop I worked on a few years back, like eight or so years. It was just a summer job, but HOO BOY! The shit I have witnessed. Was really cash, though. Anyway, this first story is one of the two most horrifying experiences I had there. I present to you, the Tale of the LANDWHALE!

It's summer, I had been working behind the counter for a week now, and everything was cash. The shop consisted of two floors; the entrance, where most boardgames were placed (think monopoly, scrabble, munchkin), and the downstairs, where the real treasures where.
D&D, Pathfinder, Dark Heresy and more were regularly played by all sorts of types downstairs. Today, I helped a group of kids get started, being taught by one kid's older brother. A cool enough guy. He really roped in those boys, teached them the glorious ways of roleplaying and dice.

However, as time pass this day, it begins to rain. Heavily. A shadow falls upon the windows out to the street. The bell rings as the door opens, a forboding ring. It is the fattest person I have ever seen in my entire life that is not on a screen! A true to life landwhale! In she comes, with thundering footsteps, only momentarily hindered by the door. She's waddling along, make-up running down her fat cheeks and quadruple chin. Every step causes her fat to wobble and shake like a very, very ugly bowl of jelly.
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I couldn't even get out a greeting. Not that it mattered. Down she went, dripping water everywhere, leaving large, wet footsteps after her. I was afraid the stairs were going to break beneath her. The store manager back from his smoke break and we switch places. I have a crate with some new minifigs to place down there anyway.