>>4963619>Remember all the great artists (not only visual artists) who were ignored during their lifetimes and discovered posthumously. Why do you think they made art?
I always end up giving it another try, again and again and again. I have these slumps but I never quit, I cannot quit. I have tried quitting for good and getting a regular job, I wanted to kill myself and I had to go back to art. There is nothing for me but art but knowing that I'll just have to die in sad misery for this shit nobody cares about makes me infinitely sad and angry. Why do I have to go down like this? It's like a death sentence. Should I just look forward that some money launderer "discovers" me in the future and makes money off my corpse when I'm no longer relevant? What is the fucking point of doing this? Even the sad losers of the past had some kind of support from their peers, a lot of people like to say how Van Gogh died miserable and penniless but he was part of something. Other post-impressionists acknowledged him. It's simply impossible to go on without an ounce of acknowledgement for years and years. This shit is going to kill me, my physical health is slowly disintegrating because of this.
It's impossible to commit fully in this state of mind, there needs to be a fucking light to paint, it's impossible to keep going with 0 validation 0 feedback 0 everything.
I just need enough so I stop thinking "why the fuck am I doing this" while I draw.
It's the absolute minimum.