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Don't use opacity jitter for your lines, be mindful of your strokes, your lines look unintentionally wonky, learn cellshading or stick to flat colors and maybe simple hard edge shadows, copy artstyles you like, colors look kinda dead but maybe it goes with the mood, neck too wide for a female, you need to improve your drawing skills in general, don't create your own threads for critique, post in the begginers thread next time.