Thank you anon, deep inside I know you're right. I can't believe the impact this board has on me. I've tried to leave once, but continued browsing artbook and video course threads for hidden gems, and then started browsing /alt/ as I've seen very good art and the cycle started again. Although I only browse for about 15 minutes a day, it all continues in my head for hours and when I draw, constantly obsessing whether something is "soulless" or laughably bad, "hearing" people in my head heavily criticize me when I draw and tell me it's shit, which was not happening before /ic/. I don't draw for myself anymore, but obsessively out of guilt and the need for appreciation, I think in the long run this will kill me.
At this point I think the only way is to install one of those programs for child safety, make up a long password you can't remember, blacklist the entire website and put the paper with the password on the very top of your wardrobe. Artbooks and courses aren't worth this anymore, so I will physically make myself unable to go on this board because only this method has ever worked for me.>>4449475
I'm sorry you have been feeling the same anon, if you start to feel it is starting to seriously impact your mental health as it did with me, you should do your best to leave, many people do but it's not easy. If there's anything I've realized here, you are your best critic, and courses from very good teachers like Vilppu and Huston and their videos where they give criticism to other people will be enough. Many people say they just gather all the good stuff laying around /ic/ and then leave forever. I think it's the healthiest.
Thank you, anon, I have hope I'll become at peace with myself once I leave, and I'll do it by force after sending the reply, because otherwise I know I won't do it, if not now then never. In the pic there's a bit of my art I've valued the most, I've had an entire long series but most of it wasn't fit to be displayed publicly, [1/2]