Before starting this I want you to listen to my story. I come in here because I know this is the only community on the internet that will continuously be harsh enough to not allow myself become lazy or self delusional; because I know that, there are many among you with enough knowledge to tell me I'm doing wrong when I'm doing wrong. I am a man who has lost entirely everything in his life and that currently possesses nothing but ashes.
Lost my health, I'm nothing but a piece of garbage nobody will hire because of my age and chronic illnesses.
Lost my career. My job.
Lost the family member I most loved.
Then the person who kept me going, my lover, cucked me with one of my "friends"
As result of all of the above, I attempted to end my life 3 months ago.
Ever since then I've been sleeping most of the time. Eating sometimes close to nothing, while binging on others. Became addicted to clonazepam, which I get with forged prescriptions.
I have lost all and I have nothing else to lose but myself.
I want to come back. But cannot come back. I, instead, want to make it through art. Always hated my job in a way, was always jealous of artists earning about the same than me by just drawing. Always loved art myself, even educated myself a bit in it. Now that it's been 3 months and before the downward spiral of depression sinks me any deeper. I want to try.
Please help me to get good. If only by just being judges, if only by just being there and telling me I'm bad. I want to fight back in this, and for once in so many endless weeks start floating back into the surface.
I'll be keeping this thread on, to show you all my progress. Starting today, I'll fight myself to post at least 8 drawings a day. and then more. I'm delusional for believing I'll get good in a few months but at this point anything else seems delusional too, I have reached the bottom, any skill I try to pick up will also take months in developing so I want art to be my path to go.