>>4280319My ability to perceive what is good is far above my ability to produce what is good.
I almost never finish anything because I think everything I do is shit.
I think I should be doing better even though my ability is somewhat above the average artist for my age.
In a way it's helping me improve faster because I can nip things in the bud before they become a habit as a result of me being incredibly self critical.
But it's so exhausting drawing literally hundreds of unfinished things a week to maybe have one thing I like out of all of them. I usually don't finish it anyway.
I have exactly zero finished digital pieces and scant finished traditional ones since I find it easier to complete a traditional piece.
I have little patience
I surround myself with art and pieces of the old masters.
They are my main inspiration and it's really discourages me how many of them were able to get apprenticeships at a fairly young age because of the society they lived in fostered that sort of thing.
Most of the people I knew have gone off and are at college furthering their careers while I feel left in the dust.
I couldn't justify going to an art school because there was no way I was going to be able to pay for it even with financial aid. Even though I could've made a kick-ass portfolio to get in a nice one.
I'm also a hopeless romantic.
Also no one will hire me so I can't take another single class at my community college next semester because I'm broke.
I try to think positive thoughts.
I tell myself that one day I'll be the greatest artist in the world.
And believe me I will, it's just tiring.
and my internet fucking sucks ass
okay, whining is over. Back to studying,
