“Ahh, Perry the Platypus. I’m sure you’re wondering why I’ve turned myself into a pickle. Well, aside from being an excuse to trap you in a giant pickle jar, it all started long ago... When I was little, my favorite Drusselstenian pickle parlor was shut down, and replaced with a ridiculous “salad bar”. All they had was cucumbers which are just pickles that haven’t become pickles yet; that’s like eating grapes instead of raisins! I mean, seriously, some people just have ZERO taste! Now, my original plan was to use my pickle-inator to turn aaall the worlds cucumbers into perfectly produced pickles, and then if that worked out, I’d move on to the raisin thing. Buuut, as you can see, it didn’t exactly turn out as planned... However! I’ve already concocted a NEW evil scheme, with my OTHER latest invention, the meme-inator! With it, I will flood every social media platform with lazy, unoriginal jokes, all centered around my new, vinegar-soaked form! I’M PICKLE DOOOOF!”