>>96606830So this is interesting and I'm going to dig into a little bit.
Your shapes are real good. Your lines could be a little lighter. Make the base flesh tone a bit lighter and it would match her body. The highlights on her boobs are fun. Add a bit of blur to the whole thing so the lines and borders of the shading match the rest of the image. Little things really. So that's all good and it looks good.
Except...
I'm a little puzzled what happened to your lines.
In the first frame of your edit the lines are nice and smooth. I attached the first frame in pic related.
But then every other line is totally janky and fragmented.
Did you use a warp tool of some kind to alter their shape?
Don't get me wrong, I appreciate your effort and I really like what I'm seeing.
That's why I find those jaggy lines frustrating.