I feel like I'm being trolled softly, but it's entirely possible this is a real post.
Also, as for recommendations:
Awkward Zombie (your milage may vary)
Perry Bible Fellowship
8-bit Theater (your milage will REALLY vary)
Gardfield Minus Gardfield
The Adventures of Dr. McNinja (at the beginning, anyway, read as far as you still find funny)
Spacetrawler (the art ain't the best, but it's a ride)
Problem Sleuth (Homestuck as well, if you have the patience and don't dislike the last third)
Hark! A Vagrant
I do read other webcomics, but I personally admit they are... kind of terrible due to one reason or another. But, between those you should have enough stuff to read to your hearts content.