>be a small time member of the Justice League
>warp onto the watchtower one day to ask Batman for some help on a missing persons case that may be part of a people trafficking ring
>entire watchtower is fucking abandoned
>it's legitimately a ghost town
>search up and down for some sign of someone, but not even Martian Manhunter is around and he's a green NEET fuck
>figure some sort of cataclysmic cosmic event must have called everyone away
>maybe Darkseid is trying to have sex with maths again
>whatever, might as well grab a bite from the cafeteria and use the free wi-fi to do some research
>might even be able to sneak into Wonder Woman's room and--
>PRRRRRRRRBBBBBBBT!
>what the fuck was--
>PRRRRRRRRRRRFFFFFFFPT!
>ofuck.jpg
>dash like a madman to the nearest fucking calendar
>it's circled and underlined a million fucking times in red
>February 12th, 2016: Speedforce Shits Day
>if I run to the teleporter fast enough I might still make it
>come on come on come the fuck ON
>PRRRRRRRRRRRBBBBBBFFFFT!
>the shits are getting louder and brassier
>PRRRRRRRRRRRRRBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBT!
>PPPPPPPPpppppppprprrbt...
>FUCK FUCK FUCK
>almost there just a few more steps
>just at that moment, the Flash opens the bathroom door without flushing
>a wave of speedforce energy cascades out of the bathroom, flowing throughout the watchtower
>smell it before I see it
>the wave strikes me and absorbs me into the fucking speedforce
>spend the next few weeks surrounded by shit and lighting before the Flash comes in to save me
>this motherfucker still has the gall to eat chipotle right in front of me
