>>77917367It's something I can easily accept. My mom has a harder time living up to something like secretly wishing for death so I can continue to live.
You just get kinda impatient after nearly a year of waiting. All this time being too weak and sick to do things for myself and having to rely on my parents when I'm nearly 30 wreaks havoc on your nerves and psyche. I have no friends and the only person I consider a friend is my brother who lives far away in another city. I only get to see him about twice a year. At least he'll be visiting for Christmas, so I have that to look forward to. I just want this transplant so I can move out on my own and live my own life -- make some friends, get married, just spend the years I'm afforded post-transplant content and accomplished. The waiting is excruciating and the longer it takes, the more your confidence and hope fades.
