Glad to oblige a fellow scientist...
>Religious, but lately you’ve been feeling… skeptical
>Life’s been hard, and you haven’t prayed in a long while
>You’ve still got your old bible though
>Read through it for a few pages and put it down
>You want more
>You want proof
>There’s no info on how to summon angels, but you know there’s plenty of knowledge on summoning demons
>Decide to go on the internet and look up how to do it
>Read more and more bullshit processes from tv, anime, movies, etc.
>Decide to go out and get whatever materials you think you’ll need
>A goat, a knife, maybe candles, a book with a list of demons to summon
>Get in the car and go to the farmer’s market for a goat, then the bookstore for that demon book
>Get the goat
>Get the book
>Damned goat started eating your seat cushion
>Whatever it’s gonna die in a few minutes; let it have its last meal
>Move the goat to the center of your living room
>Tie its legs so it can’t run or fight back
>Look in the book for a demon to summon
>Something that won’t immediately rip you to shreds
>Alastor, Baphomet, Beelzebub…
>Who the fuck names a demon Charlene?!
>Read “Charlene”’s description
>”Daughter of the fallen angel, Lucifer. Legends say she’s a needle in a haystack; a kind demon.”
>A kind demon?
>And the Devil’s daughter, no less?
>Fuck, that’ll be all the proof you need
>Wait till 3:00 AM
>Surround the bound goat with candles
>Turn off all the lights and light the candles
>Stab the goat in the heart, and try saying something
>Realize you don’t know what to say
>Fuck it, wing it
>”Charlene Magne! From the flaming pits of Hell, I summon you! With this sacrifice I welcome you! With my words I call you! Answer my forbidden prayer, and come to me!”
>The goat stops bleating, and stops bleeding
>The candles get brighter, hotter
>Too hot, even
>It feels like you’re in hell itself
>This must be it