>>123870012>The director and nurse of my kinder-garden were real pedos,>He and she did things.>23 years later, I get nightmares and suddenly remember everything.>Later learn that the director got busted for pedophilia while the nurse got cut loose and just got to work at another kinder-garden.>Feels weird and explains partly why I've had problems socializing, trusting and so on.>Decide this and all the shit that has happened to me will not hold me back anymore> I continue to struggle, but now I have some semblance of hope and it's fountain is me.Being a wreck doesn't mean you should stay one. Blaming the past for what you have become is just an unhealthy habit hammered in by negative thoughts/ world view and your surroundings (those you were forced in and/or those you chose to submerge yourself in). Other factors can be added, but this is no psyche session.
What I'm getting at is - it's your choice and there is no wrong or right way. Just try to enjoy your path.
If you like being a miserable parasite - go all in, embrace it. Revel in it and find joy.
If you want to achieve something and turn yourself into a host for others/parasites - same, go balls deep and enjoy it.
One thing that helped me in my journey till this point is remembering death - no matter if you're rich or poor, a winner or a loser, at some point everyone gets taken back by Mama Void and become everything and nothing. This planet and existence itself will one day seize to be and all will become quite, dark and under complete order. Until the cycle beings anew, for reasons and goals beyond human comprehension.
So, cheer up, go forth and remember that you're neither special nor eternal and that is okay.
