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Family Guy once had a cutaway gag where Peter has a "Milf on a Shefl" instead of the common "Elf on a shelf" toy. Her name is Karen and her cigarette ashes accidentally burn down the living room.
I wish I had a MILF on a shelf, a tiny milf woman who tells me inane stories with no point and sits on my mantelpiece all day looking sort of cute. I'd want to do lewd things with her.
