Growing Around: Party Panic by The Mysterious Mr. Enter (Part 2)

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Continued from: https://archive.is/HImea

HAN: Ain’t this like her third hot chocolate in less than twenty-four hours?

SHAYERA: Yeah, but when has she eaten or drank anything that wasn’t loaded with sugar?

ESME: Well, her breakfast actually isn’t loaded with sugar, but you guys are gonna love what it is.

HAN: Dare I ask what it is?

ESME: French fry pizza.

HAN/SHAYERA: (stare)
ESME: Okay, yes, I know French fry pizza exists in real life – people put all sorts of crazy toppings on pizza – but this feels like yet another instance of Enter yelling at the reader, “Look, look, they’re KIDS! See all the junk food they’re eating? That’s because they’re KIDS!”

SHAYERA: Besides, a lot of kids love regular pizza with regular toppings.

KIDS DO THIS, RIGHT?: 71

HAN: Also, I don’t care if some kid magically made sugar healthy – if you eat stuff like that all the time your cholesterol’s gonna skyrocket and you’re askin’ for a heart attack.

ESME: Sally gobbles up three slices of pizza in two seconds because again, Enter can’t write transitions to save his life.

FIVE HUNDRED DOLLAR EDITING!!: 202

She asks if Robert and Linda are at school and Timmy tells her ”don’t you worry, I made sure they went in their grounded costumes.” Sally’s in the midst of asking why, but she’s interrupted by the doorbell mooing again and they both freak out that the party guests might be showing up early. Why they think that, I don’t know, but Sally goes marching to answer the door, declaring that ”If it was time to face the music; I’d do it with strength and courage.” But not with properly-used semicolons.

FIVE HUNDRED DOLLAR EDITING!!: 203

Also, every sentence in the paragraph of Sally answering the door begins with “I.”

CONJUNCTION JUNCTION, THAT’S YOUR FUNCTION: 544