>>117329322It's simple: get Nepeta.She's super effective.Big brooding brute not having a good time?Attach cutie chipper catgirl.
Barring that, I could order him to discuss something he knows a great deal about, like alternian history or troll biology. He likes demonstrating his abilities, his intelligence included. (Plus there isn't really anything Equius can do that's interactive due to his STRENGTH. Well he can, but he'll likely just break it/you)
On his own, you'd never hear him talk about anything that's not horse/milk/gross stuff/STRENGTH related. But if you tell him what to do, like a robot, he'll be obedient, and perform like clockwork. First and foremost, I'd ask him how the hell did he manage to get his hands on (what I presume to be) Dualscar's horns, which sit in his 100dseum. What he knows about the Sufferer, Mindfang and Darkleer, and if there's any memory of his ancestor. After softening him, I'd ask him about how troll breasts actually work and some personal questions. How he built his hive, how he met Vriska. Why he decided to ultimately save her life. Why he likes Nepeta and Aradia so much.
Although I wouldn't expect him to give anything else but a confused look... I would ask him something, that only a splinter of Dirk could answer correctly. While the Void would obstruct a straight answer, he could still do or say something that covertly signals his splintered-ness from Dirk. I'd tell him he's in good hands, that he should cherish his moments with Nepeta; that he's the luckiest troll on Alternia to have found someone as loving and selfless as her. To not beat himself up too much about things he can't control. I'd tell him that no-one is beyond redemption, even if you're cursed with an outward persona that isn't your own, that makes you do things you wouldn't do otherwise. I'd tell him that even in the deepest depths of the ocean, the light shines through.
I would tell him that the STRONGest force in the universe comes from the HEART
