I really, really wish someone would tell him this: You didn't change. You are still the same niggerhating bastard as you always have been. That will never go away as long as there are black people in south america.
You just decided to put up this facade, inside *and* outside yourself, because you figured (even with your endless fucking hate and anger) that putting up a front where you just unabashedly hate anyone and everyone (yes because you are frustrated with ALL of the world), will not work in a globalized economy like the one that exists today.
And you can't have that. Living in south-american shithole circumstances means you have to take every fucking penny you can get. Drawing is one of the easiest things to pickup and do. For a couple of minutes of effort that you can actually put into something, you can get yourself like 5 USD. Which could buy you your dinner or something for that week, which is not bad.
All of this is only mildly hindered by the fact that you fucking suck at drawing. Every single fucking character has the same face. The same bodies, the same expressions. Everyone is fucking rigid and stiff like they were robots.
Your porn is also just as shit, hundreds of artists make better porn than you, more detailed, for less, for even more fucked up audiences than you could *ever* dream of. The big fucking "messed up porn" you made was with some fuckin south american christian saint? Or fuckin Anne Frank? How fucking WEAK can you get? Speaks fucking VOLUMES about your lack of imagination if you think those are "SOOOO FUCKED UP".
Sooner or later you'll get fucking bored of this, like everything else in your life. You will die a commitmentless ametaur coward's death, slowly fading out, until one day, you are no more. Die while the monkeys rape your gf. Fits you fuckin perfectly.