Ultimately you can't give birth to biological children, you're an XY chromosome, and you are coping with your dysphoria through making physical changes to your surface body in order to not commit suicide. If your life matters to you, you wouldn't kill yourself regardless. No matter how low you go in sadness, in regret, in that deep inner hopelessness and apathy, one only kills themselves if they choose too. Even in the moments of regret when you do try to kill yourself, you've already agreed to commit to the act, and it would be up to probabilities of chance to save you. Many people regret their suicide attempts, many more die and still yearn to take it back in their final moments. Why do you ultimately matter to me? To the next person? And to the next? You only matter to you, ultimately, with not your parents, not your friends, not the authorities in your life, not the dependents - no one cares about you in the most cerebral grasp of consciousness they hold. Your suicide and depression only matter to you, as mine do to me, meaning that the disconnect from your inner voice to my inner voice is so binary that societal input does not matter. It means that nature is the only law that cannot be ignored.
You are a male with gender dysphoria. You cannot give birth as a biological woman. You act instead of move, you imitate instead of be, you yearn instead of know. I sympathize with you heavily, but at the end of the day on the most individual level, you are still a man in your mind, and always will be. Consciousness has nothing to do with nature