>>113291429>>113291603The age wasn’t the problem per se. I just think if I hadn’t been desperate for it I would have seen the signs she was not actually interested in me but liked the attention I gave her and lived close by. And apparently the only thing I was good at was eating pussy but not good enough for my lack of experience otherwise.
Anyways, she told me we were dating but to keep it on the down low for awhile but she saw us together for a long time. I went over to her place 6-7 times (lived an hour away) but we never did anything but stay at her place drank and fucked, other than the one time she was sick the whole weekend and I took care of her. After that she went to a party, texted me something like “Help me this woman at this party thinks I was flirting with her husband. :(“ then shut off her phone, and acted like nothing had happened. Eventually she stopped texting back, so I stopped texting, and when I asked when we were both playing WoW if I could see her that weekend, and she gave multiple excuses why it would be awhile, including distance. I straight up asked her if that meant we were over and she said, “I guess so.” The next week she flew out to California to fuck somebody else she met on WoW, which I heard through the grapevine a month later. A year after that she killed herself.
So, yeah. I’m still pretty fucked up about it, even though it’s been a decade. Trust and self-esteem issues, dating and sex has been a disaster. So I don’t try anymore, least I drag down some poor girl who wants to fix me. Maybe someday I’ll have it together enough to even want to fix myself.
So yeah, I’d say I do fantasize about having lost it in high school. Then maybe I would have had the confidence to pay attention to the red flags. I wouldn’t have fell for a such a toxic person who never cared about me, or herself really.
