Well howdy everyone! It's me, your old pal Butters, and boy oh boy, have I got a deal for you fellers! You put no money down and you make no monthly payments! And you don't even have to wait till tomorrow and risk irreversibly damaging your family emotionally by abandoning them at the dinner table to stand out in line in the freezing cold! Heck, you don't even have to leave your cave at all for this one! That's right, act fast and you too can get in on this offer! I have here for you fellers an all-new, never before seen episode of South Park, completely free of charge*! All you have to do is tune in to Comedy Central tonight at 10/9c, about an hour and thirty minutes from the time of this post! Gee whiz, can this deal get any more neato?

>Turd Burglars - Kyle’s mom looks so good after her fecal transplant that everyone wants to get their hands on her goods. Cartman and the boys jump into the quest for the best microbiome.

*with your cable and/or satellite provider subscription