The X-Men help people though, we don't do shit.>>107618681
There would be 4 of them on the team (obviously).
1. The /co/ board-tan Conrad guy. I have no idea what his personality is like or if he has any powers.
2. The Sage. He looks like an old man, he can turn intangible like a ghost so he can touch things without bumping them. He seems like a wise mentor figure until you realize his ramblings are mostly useless.
3. (You). (You) is like the hulk in that he becomes extremely strong and durable, but instead of anger, he gets stronger depending on how much attention people pay to him. If 3 people are watching him he has the strength of 3 men. If he's on TV and everyone can see him he is like a god. If he is alone or everyone else is distracted he is cripple-like and needs a cane to walk.
4. The Janitor. Cleans and deletes thing IRL with a magical mop. He's an Anubis-like being with a dog head on a human body and wears suspenders.