>>104511759Cartman - CEO of a major brand, talk radio host, or high political office. Something where he becomes a loud enough voice to gather a bunch of willing unthinking followers and uses them to impose his will. Cartman may not be book smart, but he's clever, charismatic, ambitious, and manipulative enough to lead and make smarter people do the work for him.
Stan - Basically Al Bundy. Former Highschool football star that became a washed up nobody, in a way mirroring Gerald and Stuart's relationship. Either that or he becomes Randy later in life, but addicted to good causes like saving the manatees or whatever. I'm not sure which is worse. An alcoholic either way.
Kenny - Mercenary, freelance reporter, or some other very high risk/high reward profession. He sends most of his paychecks to his sister who probably grew up to be more like Carol than anyone in this thread would like to imagine.
Butters - Host of a popular children's television program until a tragic misunderstanding drives him to a life of crime. Professional assassin but you'd never know from talking to him.
Wendy - Noteworthy activist and novelist of some renown. Stan's ex-wife. She still considers him a friend, but Stan often makes it weird. She tries to keep him from drinking too much.
Kyle - Definitely a lawyer, but he believes that he has stronger ethics than his father. Possibly worked as a public defender for a while. Also tries to keep Stan from drinking too much, if they're still close at all.
