Not sure if I want it to be an anime or what, but-
Supreme Tournament of Unrelenting Power, Ingenuity, and Determination
Imagine a massive tournament between practitioners of various supernatural martial arts. Now imagine that instead of hadokens or scorpion knives, you have abilities like martial arts mastery of a giant, reinforced retractable badge lanyard, or a martial art based on the Tanuki, where most of your moves involve inflating your testicles.
16 year old "Effed Up" Frank is a budding user of the "Ow Stop It" school of Combat Badge Lanyard fighting, meaning that 90% of the time, he can use his weapon without hitting himself with it. Why is he entering the S.T.U.P.I.D tournament?
Because he's bored, and the other alternative was to spend summer with his aunt and uncle who are trying to coerce him into a mission trip to Antarctica.
While he has many rivals all competing to be the Indisputably Definitely Infinite Overlord of Tournaments, his chief nemesis is 35 year old "Lord Euphoria", a master of a katana he invested his entire college savings in, and a devout student of Richard Dawkins.
...well, it's a katana bought from a mall, he wears a smell trenchcoat and fedora, his father pretends not to recognize him and his mother tries to be supportive but wishes he'd move out, but you get the idea.
"Effed Up" Frank. Constantly has only peach fuzz brown hair, due to a life-long fandom of the Matchheads, a Country/Metal/Jazz band that plays their last song with their heads lit ablaze. Was prescribed medicinal cocaine to treat hallucinations of Mr. Rogers to no effect.
Martial Arts: "Ow Stop It" Badge Lanyard Combat and a masterwork combat lanyard. On a good day, he looks like he took lessons from the Belmonts and Kratos. On a bad day, he hits himself in the face and groin a lot.
Magic Ability: Psionic abilities focusing on kinetic control and telepathic triggering of regret while an enemy is touching his lanyard.