5. Calvin is Bill Watterson's mouthpiece. Most of the comics are just Bill running his mouth about how terrible the world is, how things should be done, or what you should believe. We get it, Bill, you're an egomaniac.
4. Most strips aren't even colored. How is it that 14yo webcomic artists can turn out colored strips a day, but this old guy with more time, experience, and tools can't? C'mon, finish the work or don't start it at all.
3. Walls of text and confusing art. The comic is at its political worst when the strips are bursting with a flood of words. But the textless comics aren't any better because they're too postmodernist to make any sense.
2. Neigh plagarism of popular comics. Bill shamelessly takes more than inspiration from Frazz, Pearls Before Swine, and early Sinfest strips; the hack can't even come up with original, interesting names for characters!
1. There are no non-white people. Even Hobbes, the snowmen, and the aliens Calvin dreams up are white. But I guess if the comic is from a white kid's POV (allegedly), than it'd make sense he'd hate on black people.
I could go on about the strip mocking veterans with its "war games," normalizing the harrassment of girls via Calvin and Susie's relationship, telling ADHD kids that monsters live under their beds and that Santa isn't real, skimping out on backgrounds half of the time, showing a bird dying, recycling old jokes (the toy wagon again?), Uncle Max not being in more strips, Calvin's dad lying to him whenever he asks good questions, the comic dripping with nilihism and pessimism, no variety in how food is drawn, a T-rex fitting inside a fighter jet, keeping to the four-panel comic strips instead of expanding out a little (sans the Sunday strips), and many more problems, but I think five good reasons is enough to show how bad Calvin & Hobbes is.