It was a nice bright sunny day and I just got my weekly allowance and I really wanted to buy a game. My father fucked me in the ass, but it was a bright sunny day so I didn't care that much. I was at a garage sale with my mom, and I bought a copy of Donkey Kong 64. "Wow!" I said, "I can not wait to play this one!"
My mom handed me the cartridge. I noticed it was missing something. It no longer had a label, but it did have something written on it: "Donkey Kong 64: The Unsold Copy" I turned the cartridge over, and to my surprise, the real Shigeru Miyamoto had signed it. I was so excited to have that signature, I got on my two-wheeler and rode really fast back home. I didn't even bother to drive it into the garage, I just jumped off my bike and threw my bike into the lawn like they do in those shows. I ran into the house, and I popped that sucker into that Nintendo 64, put on that play button, and got ready for a special treat.
This was when I first noticed something was wrong. When I put in the cartridge, I felt it lock in. I had never noticed other games do that before. I tried taking it out, but it wouldn't come out at first. So I just figured maybe there was a little piece of plastic sticking out. I just let it slide. I turned on the game, and there it is! The old logo I used to remember, a year ago when I was one!
The DK Rap started playing, but something was off about it. The lyrics were all jumbled, and their eyes were glitching up. But I just shrugged it off and pressed start, ready to relive some of my childhood memories. I looked past the DK Rap. I said "time to play my favorite game!" I started a new file up, and usually when Donkey Kong sees a banana he says "OH. BA-NA-NA." but he did not this time. He said, "EUGCHHHH! BANANA!" It sounded like a little boy screaming, I couldn't quite make it out. That's when I turned around and saw my mom in red face paint.