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>adult Stan is a college dropout pot addicted that hates himself, his life, and everyone around him
>adult Kyle is a self-hating Jew, converted Christian, missionary, moralfagging as hard as he can
>adult Cartman is a sleazy businessman
>Kenny is a doctor that broke the cycle of poverty for the sake of his family, dabbles in singing, songwriting, and playwriting as hobbies
>Butters went to prison for falling in with organized crime, but escaped and lives in hiding with Cartman
