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HI, BILLY MAYS HERE TO TELL YOU ABOUT THE MOST IMPORTANT PRODUCT I HAVE EVER ENDORSED!! THIS DEAL IS JUST TOO GOOD TO STAY DEAD, AND IT KEEPS GETTING BETTER!!

IT'S LEANER!! IT'S MEANER!! NEW ERGONOMIC DESIGN MAKES IT EASIER TO SATISFY YOURSELF AND EVEN YOUR FRIENDS!! YOU CAN'T HELP BUT BE AMAZED!!

YOU NEED FALLOUT!!? WE'VE GOT FALLOUT!! FEEL THE WARM GLOW OF THE REACTOR!!

YOU WANT SATAN GAMES?! WE'VE GOT SO MANY YOU COULD PAVE YOUR WAY TO HELL!!!

HOW MUCH FISH FUCKING ELDRITCH COCK CAN YOU HANDLE!!? WE'VE GOT MORE THAN YOU CAN SHAKE YOUR STICK AT!!!

WE'VE GOT ACHTUNG!! CTHULHU OUT THE WAZOOOO!!

YOU WANT THE UNCENSORED KULT: DIVINITY LOST BUT YOU'RE BROKE AND MOM WON'T SPRING FOR BOOKS WITH TITS ON THE COVER!?! NO PROBLEM!!

WE'VE GOT ALL THAT AND SO! MUCH! MORE!!! JUST ONE CLICK AWAY!!!

ACT NOW WHILE SUPPLIES LAST!!! TRY DA CURATED ARCHIVE™!!! IT WILL BE THE BEST DECISION OF YOUR GAMING CAREER!!! GUARANTEED TO MAKE YOUR HARD DRIVE HEAVIER, OR YOUR MONEY BACK!!!