Czechfag here. Glad to see the threads still up.
I was wondering: how do you fellas feel about tripcodes? I'm kinda tired of saying "czechfag here", seems like almost worse attention whoring than having a damn trip. That said, I never used the thing in my almost ten years here...>>51090170>>51090192>>51090216>>51090233
I've read it very impatiently and quickly, and I'll try to revisit it again, but on brief, first glance reading:
On one hand, it has a ver fun rythm. And I actually like the idea: the juxtaposition of the recognizable over-the-top bad-assery with mundane issues of paperwork.
That said: on quick reading, it's VERY hard to follow. This might be partially because I'm not very familiar with the setup and many of the references, but it's also because it's just really hard to figure out how and why does one quip follow and stem from another. Also: at some moments, the characters seem inconsistent: they seem to switch their attitudes towards each other too frequently, instead of keeping things consistent. I don't think that the dialogue consisting almost purely of sacrastic quips is inherently bad (in other context, I would harp on that quite a lot, but in this particular genre of genre fiction it's fine), but it feels like at times, the quips are present for quips sake, and not because they logically flow from the dialogue exchange.
But again: very first impressions here. I'm a bit busy struggling with my own writing at the very moment (I should not be browsing this place at all right now if I want to get things done), so I'm sadly not giving this 100% attention, so keep that in mind.