Rolled 9 (1d20)
Friends, weirdos, fellow Humanity, I have a dream. "Immortality for Everyone, or die trying" To my knowledge, the best method of achieving this dream is first becoming the president of the United States of America. I have dedicated every waking hour to this cause. But I am just one human, just one neck beard in a log cabin. I need help. I need the entire world to join my army to slay the dragon that is Death. Anyone who wishes to join my cause, I will happily welcome, so long as you don't stab me in the back, and give me 1% of whatever profit you make through my help. Who's with me? Message me if you mean business, I'm a busy man, trying to change the world. Don't waste my time with your bullshit.
This is 100% serious, my fellow fa/tg/uys