Your problem is modern D&D.
See modern D&D(3.0 onwards) is effectively a tactical miniature wargame. So being excited about feats, builds, classes and all that overpowered shit is actually designed as part of the game! There's nothing wrong with you enjoying these things. The designers literally put them in the game for you to enjoy them. If you were playing say 40k this would be the norm, it might be frowned upon to build the latest tournament build to a casual game night, but you wouldn't be criticized for just building a strong list.
However modern D&D unfortunately effectively gaslights its player base. It does this by pretending it's actually this epic storytelling roleplaying game! Yet when you look at the literal rules of the system there's next to nothing in respects to rules that frame actual group storytelling like you'd see in say HillFolk, or Fiasco or even PBTA. What there is is lots of tactical combat.
Now you could say you don't need. To which I say is 40k a roleplaying game? I can certainly roleplay my imperial guardsmen down to even individual characters on the battlefield however I want and we can craft any narrative we want from that. Yet we would all agree it's not a roleplaying game, it's a miniature wargame.
Unfortunately most players of the game don't realise this and they react to the cognitive dissonance by SHAMING players who treat the game as what it literally is a mini wargame.
So what's your solution?
I'd suggest trying your hand at non-D&D systems like the story games I mentioned to see how good roleplaying games structure things.
If you really want to play D&D I'd suggest any OSR game. Far less focus on builds and tactics, far more focus on combat as war, exploration and amusingly roleplay as a result.
Or just play a miniature wargame, I don't say that to be trite, its what you may enjoy. Even better find a D&D group that is happy to play the game as basically a tactical miniature game and go to town!