I have a math fetish. Nothing makes me hornier than calculus and statistics. This makes math class hard for me because I have to sit through the whole class with no way to relieve my urges. Instead of porn, I jerk off to my math textbook and my parents have noticed. They wish I would just watch porn like a normal child but I can't get off without thinking about math. My girlfriend left me because I would shout mathematical formulas during sex. This came to its worst today when my calc and stats teachers were having a discussion of the calculus of the normal curve and I had to excuse myself to the bathroom because I just couldn't handle it. It's ruining my education and my life.