Depressive people are self-absorbed and lazy, and it's always exactly reflected in their output. Pic related.
Margin-doodle tier technique, some nebulous, banal statement about the how some aspect of modernity is actually like totally evil, and then they plaster their signature on it, which you know they spend more time practicing than their actual profession, like it's worth something.
They claim to break the rules because they're so creative and thoughtful, when in reality it's because if they ever committed to a set of rules intelligible to others, meaning competition (comparison) would ensue, such would reveal their own mediocrity and deflate their swollen ego. Nothing wrong with big egos, just inflated ones.>>10636161
OP you're going to hate this boomer advice but there is no answer for which to wait. Stop feeling sorry for yourself, in 2019 you're living out the science fiction of 100 years ago in an English speaking first world nexus of wealth, so just light a fire under your ass and go. The motivation and the answers come on the journey itself. Gotta leave the hobbit hole if you really want to find out anything about yourself, you can't just armchair it and feel satisfied on your deathbed, your current feelings are proof enough that that won't cut it for you. Your current feelings are also the proof you're looking for that you can succeed, but only if you start reacting to those feelings productively instead of letting them dominate you.