>26>top of class all through school, graduate B.Sc at 21>take another gap year>meet a woman and finally PIV, 4 years spent overseas TA´ing and working on own self funded projects/education
I´m 26 now and in a full time M.Sc
in Theoretical neuroscience/artificial general intelligence
Fuck my brain has slowed down, and I´m so fucking old it hurts.
Don´t take a fucking break....ever, its a fucking meme,
I will try and P.hd in quantum computational cognitive neuroscience/ theoretical computational cognitive neuroscience, but I will be 27 by the time I start....
I feel like I have failed, and wasted my life, I see 23 year olds already with P´hds, some fags on my Msc already have masters and phds.
If I accepted the year skip, and didn´t take the first gap year, then the 4 after undergrad I could have graduated at 19...then msc to 20, then phd at 23....fucking shit fuck>tfw There are no more barriers to cross. All I have in common with the uncontrollable and the insane, the vicious and the evil, all the mayhem I have caused and my utter indifference toward it I have now surpassed. My pain is constant and sharp and I do not hope for a better world for anyone, in fact I want my pain to be inflicted on others. I want no one to escape, but even after admitting this there is no catharsis, my punishment continues to elude me and I gain no deeper knowledge of myself; no new knowledge can be extracted from my telling. This confession has meant nothing.