Batman v.Superman: Dawn of Murder is the most disappointing thing since my son's failed colonoscopy.
How do you manage to screw up a movie about two cartoon characters punching each other? Did the writer overthink it? Was the director a hack? Lets find out.
NUMBER ONE: WASTING MY TIME
Why does a movie about Batman fighting Superman need to be so long? The longer you make a movie surrounding this childish premise, the more obvious the filler becomes. Was there any real reason why Batman and Superman couldn't just talke out their problems the first time they meet? No,of course not, we would end up with a satisfying two hour movie instead of three hour cancer.
Why couldn't they just adapt the TDKR movies? Those were short sweet and to the point.
NUMBER 2: LEX LUTHOR'S PLAN DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE
I'm gonna be honest with you here, I dont understand this character. And no I'm not fucking interested in reading your stupid essays about how Lex Luthor made sense. I like my villains simple and to the point. Luthor from the comics just wants to kill Superman and be cool to everyone. That's a fine motivation right there. Why does this one have to ramble on and on about the dichotomy of good and evil and man rebelling against God? I just want to see a fucking bald man shoot lasers at Superman.
NUMBER THREE: I DONT CARE ABOUT THE DC UNIVERSE
Look, I'm fine with DC copying Marvel and making a cinematic universe. Just make the movies good and easy to understand like they do. I dont read comics and the majority of movie goers dont. I dont give a flying fuck about Wonder Whore, the jew in the Flash costume, some stupid Mad Max Batman nonsense, and all the other nerdy shit they put in here. I pirated this movie to see Superman vaporize Batman.
Now some may call this world building but world building isn't throwing a bunch of obscure comic plots at the audience and calling it a day. You need to establish context and a purpose for these things.
How do you manage to screw up a movie about two cartoon characters punching each other? Did the writer overthink it? Was the director a hack? Lets find out.
NUMBER ONE: WASTING MY TIME
Why does a movie about Batman fighting Superman need to be so long? The longer you make a movie surrounding this childish premise, the more obvious the filler becomes. Was there any real reason why Batman and Superman couldn't just talke out their problems the first time they meet? No,of course not, we would end up with a satisfying two hour movie instead of three hour cancer.
Why couldn't they just adapt the TDKR movies? Those were short sweet and to the point.
NUMBER 2: LEX LUTHOR'S PLAN DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE
I'm gonna be honest with you here, I dont understand this character. And no I'm not fucking interested in reading your stupid essays about how Lex Luthor made sense. I like my villains simple and to the point. Luthor from the comics just wants to kill Superman and be cool to everyone. That's a fine motivation right there. Why does this one have to ramble on and on about the dichotomy of good and evil and man rebelling against God? I just want to see a fucking bald man shoot lasers at Superman.
NUMBER THREE: I DONT CARE ABOUT THE DC UNIVERSE
Look, I'm fine with DC copying Marvel and making a cinematic universe. Just make the movies good and easy to understand like they do. I dont read comics and the majority of movie goers dont. I dont give a flying fuck about Wonder Whore, the jew in the Flash costume, some stupid Mad Max Batman nonsense, and all the other nerdy shit they put in here. I pirated this movie to see Superman vaporize Batman.
Now some may call this world building but world building isn't throwing a bunch of obscure comic plots at the audience and calling it a day. You need to establish context and a purpose for these things.
